Coming into focus in my thirtieth year…

I know I sound like a blogging cliche, but I have been consumed these last few days with thoughts of what I want this year to be. Normally I am full of reflection and not many resolutions, but this year feels different. Somehow. I just can’t quite put my finger on it.

Maybe I am different. Or maybe I am too much the same and that is the problem.

Maybe this is my quarter-life crisis (perhaps I’m optimistic about my lifespan… third-life crisis?) because this is the year I turn 30.

Whatever the reason is, I know I need to make some changes. In an attempt to finish my Master’s degree and the beast of a thesis (which you can read here should you feel so inclined: http://hdl.handle.net/10402/era.29028), I feel like I have lost some things that I liked about me and gained some things that I’d rather weren’t there. So to start the new year right, here are some public declarations (the internet equivalent of shouting it from the rooftops? maybe that is overly optimistic about my readership…) of what I want my coming year to be.

Get back to old hobbies that make me feel good. I used to read every night before bed and do the crossword puzzle from the newspaper and exercise regularly. Somewhere along the line I stopped and I started staying up later and watching too many shows and choosing to do everything except to exercise. I want to go back to those things that made me feel engaged in the world and helped me to fine-tune my greatest asset – my brain (and it wouldn’t hurt to fine-tune by butt and triceps a bit too). So as a show of commitment to this new mind set, I have signed up for two exercise classes and I am in the process of making a pile (right beside my bed) of all of the books that have been given to me these past few years that that have sat there… unread…

Hone the skills I am passionate about. God I love research. And writing. And public speaking. I need to do these things. And I need to do them more often. Through practice I can improve and maybe even carve out a perfect little career niche for myself doing the things that I love (and maybe even have a modicum of talent for). So I have made an agreement with myself this year. An agreement to say YES to every opportunity to practice. Yes to blogging more! Yes to Story Slam (that is with you Wade)! Yes to presenting my work (one presentation set, one submitted, and one in the works already)! And yes to publishing my work! (any and all connections are welcome and would be of great inspiration…)

Make future plans. I want to see the world. I want to take up photography. I want to have children. I want to write a book. I want to grow and cook delicious foods. I want to make a documentary. I want to do my PhD. I want a successful and fulfilling career. And I think it is time to start making some (or all) of these things happen. Or at least make a plan to get the ball rolling.

Stop doing things that make me feel bad. I want to bicker less with the hubby, eat less garbage food, drink less alcohol, and generally stop doing things that are at odds with who I am and the person I want to become. I want to focus less on the negative (although my house is really clean when I am working through something) and pour my energies into the goals and ambitions described here. And I think that in order to do these things, I need to reflect, understand myself, and be confident in expressing who I am and what I can offer.

Is that enough? …I jest.

But I feel a lot better just getting these things out of my head and into the world. I know that the world doesn’t work like The Secret (just in case you were worried), but now that I have claimed my goals and ambitions for the year, hopefully some of you (dear readers) can help me to be accountable, be challenged, be engaged, and be present in this life (in my life) just by reading here.

Happy New Year!

There’s lots more to come…

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About sexagogy

I recently completed my Master's thesis exploring non-traditional venues of sexuality education for adults and I am wondering where it will take me next.
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One Response to Coming into focus in my thirtieth year…

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